Whatis your BIOS date?

Ok, so you and your friends have followed the "Whois fair game" rule and you now have a potential date … you know, some “hot” girl from the chess or orienteering club! Well … the first and most important filter is AGE. Not looks … not intelligence … not even map reading skills … AGE! I’m sorry … it is ruthless … and in a future post I’ll tell you why! So, you've got to guess, get and/or give the numbers …

If she or your friends tell you straight out then easy, job done.

But as far as guessing a girl's age ... especially when you're put on the spot ... this one's really DANGEROUS! But basically you damn well better guess LESS than what you actually think. But not too much less or it's obvious you're just trying to be nice ... and girl's don't like that. So, an easy rule to follow is whatever you genuinely think their age is then round down to the nearest multiple of 5. You know ... 20, 25, 30, 35 etc. So if you think they’re 34 then damn well say 30. 23 then guess 20. So if you think they're 28 …

Theory 2: I’m guessing you’re 25.

Got it? Crisis averted!

Now, as far as giving your number … this one’s a bit more complicated … cool ages for guys seem to go in 4’s. And more than that they started getting good at 19. Check out the list below for a summary of guys ages by the numbers …

15	What is “affectionately” referred to as hormone hell so don’t even go below there. Did girls even exist before you turned 15?
16	Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. Well … maybe not … but certainly you should be focused on Year 11 … no?
17	Last year of high-school … urgh … no girlfriends allowed. I mean how are you going to get into Engineering if you go to the beach during study week … right?
18	First year (freshman) university and you thought high school was hard! And besides you’re supposed to be an adult … you have the right to vote. No time for girls.
19*	Free at last … free at last … thank GOD almighty I’m free at last! Second year (junior) university … it’s a breeze … time for Engineers and Nurses harbour cruises and the uni-bar shenanigans (e.g. Soapie Skulls, Bastard, Here's to the judge!).
20	No longer a teenager. Sh*t!
21	Now, you're supposed to be an adult ... screw that ... where's my playstation?
22	It’s an even number and no-one with any style likes them.
23*	All the cool TV presenters are this age. Oh and how much you want to be the gadget guy on the Today Show?
24	Last year of undergrad … oh sh*t … the big bad scary world awaits … better get a good mark/GPA to avoid it!
25	All work and no play makes you a very dull boy.
26	Surely there's more to life than work ... did someone say postgrad! I mean it's not as if I'm geeky enough already.
27*	Studying again ... plenty of time on your hands to fix the world's woes ...
28	Even year.
29	Sucks … all anyone says when you tell them you're 29 is … “next years the BIG one”. Try and get a dollar from everyone who says that and … well … you really will be able to retire at 30!
30	Well … it is THE big one and it’s an even number. Only 364 days to go before it's over ... phew.
31*	31 is the new 21. It's seriously cool. Those 20's are behind you.
32	Even again.
33	Too close to 1/3 of a century which is scary. As the Irish would say ... Dirty Tree and a Turd.
34	Hmmm ... aren't you supposed to be married by 34. Not cool.
35	TBA

Soooo, what does all this mean? … well, basically until you get to the next cool or milestone age (marked with * in table) you’re still the old one. Hence at 34 …

Theory 3: I’m telling people I’m 31.

Of course saying “I’m telling people …” gives away the fact that you’re not telling the truth and they’ll always respond, “Noooo … so how old are you really?” and believe me one more “Well, I’m telling people I’m 31” will usually suffice … as everyone knows geeks … and what’s more guys … are stubborn like that!

Formulaically, these are …

Tell(Age)= [ (Age-19)div(4) * 4] + 19 .................. (6)
Guess(Age)= [ (Age-20)div(5) * 5] + 20 .................. (7)

Just to sum up for girls it's; 20, 25, 30, 35 ... and for guys it's; 19, 23, 27, 31. Yes, I know that the guy ages are almost all prime numbers ... and we geeks like prime numbers ... but 27 WAS cool ... grrrr ... and no way 29 was cool ... perhaps the next cool age is 37 not 35??? ... I'll let you know!

In any case graphically it is as per the chart below.

I'm telling people I'm ... I'm guessing you're ...

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